In Laws

Having new family based on mariage is a wonderful thing. Sometimes could be complicated, sometimes could be simple. But it is a delicate matter.

Being a new member of a big family for me is amazing experience, since I don't have so many uncles or aunts, neither cousins.

I feel so lucky to be part of it, and I feel so lucky also to have a kind, familial and open minded in laws, not all of them, but most of them.. maybe because they have no other choice which is accept me anyway ;) kiding..

It was not easy for me for the first time, since I'm a new stranger in the first place, physicaly and culturally, and most of all, I didn't speak their language.

No matter how hard I tried, if there is still a language barrier, it is hard to be known who I really am. I have to get rid of that barrier first thing first.

Then, when I started to speak their language it was getting harder, the difference of the way we think, the point of view, the cultural norms, which at those time it were not easy for me to understand.

I thought for a while I was lost, or I was in the middle of the crossroad. I really didn't know where to go or which road should I take.

But again, when you seek inside yourself, you will find the answer. It is not only to speak their language but also to understand it, why and how they have their thoughts.

My dear mom and grandma always told me to treat my family in laws like my own, since they are my own family, to love and respect my parents in law like I love and respect them, and the same thing with the brother and sister in laws. No matter how they are with me, just keep loving them, they said.

I'm glad that I listened to them, two of the most important women in my life... yes.. I should listen and remember more what they've told me.

Even it was hard, but I tried, and I did it.. even it was not easy in the first place, but I finally know which road I should take.. which is, just be yourself, follow your heart, respect your own roots, and give, and give, and give, and don't ask in return. And when you do that, it should be really coming from your heart.

I couldn't say that I've succeded since I'm still learning, but so far, I feel good with myself and the result..

Who Guides You?

Human, especially women are an unique creature, it takes a Genius to create them, with its complexity, thoughts, and feelings.

We have our brain and heart to guide us to interact with our surrounding, but for me, my hormones influence a lot.

My colleague friends told me I'm an estrogen body. Which often brings envious feeling for other woman, and attraction for the men.

The estrogen gives you the curve and woman's shape for their body, and also a smooth soft skin an hair. But it has also influence a lot on your mood.

Once I felt a small round tissue on the left of my chest, I was afraid of the tumor or something, when I was examined that doctor told me, it is just your estrogen, you have more than the normal amount.

I felt relieved. Few years after, again I had a problem during my period, when I checked my self to a gynocologyst he told me not to worry, it is just your estrogen which is above normal.... again????

I don't know if should I be grateful for this estrogen history in my body, because often, it drives me crazy, I couldn't control my emotion, I just get carried away...

I could be angry suddenly, with no reason, or sad and cry like it is the end of the world also with no reason, and feel so lonely and don't see the beauty things surround me..

Those awful things happen during my PMS. Since I have the estrogen above normal, so when the level of my estrogen falls down suddenly, I suffer that attack..

So should I be grateful to have this "estrogenic body" with all the price that I have to pay also.. not only me, but also my loved ones..

Perhaps, for the positive point of view.. but I can assure you during the PMS time, you couldn't see things positively..

Many times I wish, only my heart and brain who guides me, but, seemingly part of the time it depends on my hormones..

Seven Precious Days

Do you know how many days we have to live in a year, or even in our life time? Only seven days.

There are only seven days in a week, also seven days in a month and also seven days in a year, from the begining until the end, only seven days.

I loughed when I heard this in the first time, but my mom notted, yes, it is true, it is only seven days, lundi, mardi, mercredi, jeudi, vendredi, samedi et dimanche. And back again to monday the next week.

So we only have seven days to fill in, it is up to us, is it difficult for only seven days? Maybe I'm not trying hard yet, just live the day by day, but no, we cannot, we have to fill each day of it.

It is almost been three years since I heard it for the first time, boy, time flies, I've never knew, the tall good looking guy with a suit, carrying a black bag, which came to me and asked, "C'est beau?" will be my husband one day...

I was just woke up about 30 minutes ago, not even washed my face or combed my hair, how could be that good looking guy finally could have my email and send me an unforgetable words,
hi ratih
I hope you are well and OK!
saya masih sakit, but I get better everyday.
A friend sent me a picture of us when we met-isn't it a nice surprise ?
As a matter of fact, I have been thinking of you quite a lot since. Your charm is still haunting me, in a sweet way. Therefore I feel a bit ashamed to become your dentist patient, because that is not very romantic, and I'd rather see you for lunch or dinner next week ! What do you think of that? Let me know.
Take care,
Sweet kisses,
Thierry

Yes, it was our first day when we've met, somebody took a picture of us, like a destiny....

Many seven days that I've filled with him, but have I ever asked myself when I woke up in the morning, "today is a new day, how will I fill this day so it will be our beautiful past for tomorow"?

Maybe I will start asking myself tomorow... or just, focus for today, for this day, this moments, because each moment is precious..

notre premiere racontre

Being Grateful

Based on my experience, we often complain for things that we don't have instead of feeling gratefull for what we have, that we don't see.

Being sick for example, I couldn't do things that have to be done, I feel annoyed, then I realised by only resting, my body and mind, could make me getting better sooner.

Those moments I thought, it would be more comfortable for me if I'm in the normal state, then I also think, wow, for all this time I was not gratefull enough when I feel fine.

Health is an important matter than other things around. Why do we seek for other not so important thing? Then complaining when we don't have it? What is more important than health itself?

Healthy in our body, mind and soul, should be a goal to achieve in life. If we have all those three together, it will be easier to achieve another goal.

Thank you God for giving me for what I have now, it is now up to me how to maintain them all. Thank you for the blessing You've gave me for all this time.

Hak dan "Faith"

Lahir, Mati, Jodoh dan Rejeki sudah ada yang Mengatur, itu yang selalu ditanamkan kedua orang tuaku. Bersabar sambil berikhtiar, kata mereka selalu. Just do your best kata si daddy, tidak ada kata pasrah sebelum berusaha, keep the faith!

Faith, tidak ada hubungannya dengan agama manapun, adalah kepercayaan di dalam hati tentang sesuatu yang kita yakini, menurut pendapat pribadi.. tapi kenapa setiap kali berdiskusi dengan orang "occidental" dihubung-hubungkan dengan agama?

Ada sesuatu yang hilang bila kita tidak mempunyai "faith", padahal bila kita mendengarkan hati nurani, kata Myr teman baikku, tidak ada hubungannya dengan logika, atau otak, otak dipengaruhi oleh lingkungan katanya lagi. Mengingatkan apa yang selalu ditanamkan oleh kakekku alm, lihat ke dalam Rat.. di sana adalah yang Sejati, yang Sebenarnya.

Apabila memang itu adalah hak kita maka cepat atau lambat akan menjadi milik kita, akan datang sendiri bila waktunya tiba, seperti jodoh. Jodoh bukan hanya pasangan hidup, tapi bisa juga berarti teman, sahabat, ataupun pekerjaan yang akhirnya dihubungkan dengan rejeki.

Pernah kualami sewaktu ujian akhir di bagian Bedah Mulut di FKG UI, pada waktu itu kita ber sembilan dalam satu grup, lalu kami mengundi siapa yang mendapat giliran pertama maju ujian lisan, artinya pada hari itu juga giliran pertama akan maju memeriksa dan mendiagnosa pasien yang datang, setelah diindikasi oleh dosen pembimbing.

Ratih lapar, jadi dia menyelinap makan ke kantin sebelah Poliklinik Bedah Mulut di RSCM sewaktu akan diadakan pengundian itu, ketika kembali, sambutan meriah dari kalangan teman-teman ko-ass, Selamat, kamu dapat giliran nomer satu! kata ketua grup kami waktu itu..

Kaget, tapi.. tidak apa lah, toh lebih cepat lebih baik, pikirku saat itu, siapa takut? hehehe.. sambil berdoa, semoga Tuhan, kasusnya tidak sulit.. I'll do my best.. sambil menarik nafas dalam-dalam, bismillah, kuambil kartu pasien baru dan kupanggil pasien masuk.

Percaya diri, seolah-olah hanyalah pemeriksaan rutin, semua ilmu terekam di kepala, dan selesailah semua urutan anamnesa, kuberikan semua catatan di kartu pasien ke dosen pembimbing saat itu, beliau memeriksa kembali sebentar pasien ujianku dan, sudah katanya, berikan terapi yang sesuai kamu tuliskan di kartunya. Iya dok.. amiinn.. semua berjalan lancar.

Ternyata hanya dua saja hari itu pasien yang berindikasi untuk ujian akhir, lalu dosen pembimbing memberikan urutan para dosen penguji, setelah ketua grup kami selesai mencatat urutan undian tadi, dan... HA! Alhamdullilah.. terima kasih Tuhan.. ternyata urutan pertama dosen penguji adalah ketua bagian kami yang mendapat julukan Sang DEWA, saking baiknya dan lancarnya setiap mahasiswa yang ujian lisan bersama beliau!! menurut para senior....

Ada satu atau dua orang berwajah kuyu diantara teman-teman ko-ass, karena mereka mendapat giliran penguji yang berjulukan "Mampus Kau!".. karena selain sulit dijangkau keberadaannya, juga rumit prosesnya. Sebagai catatan, pekerjaan mereka tidak hanya menguji lisan mahasiswa, dan jaman itu belum ada handphone.

Selagi masih tersenyum-senyum menyeringai karena selain lega tahap pertama telah lewat, dan mendapat Sang Dewa, seorang temanku mendatangiku dan berkata, Rat, sebetulnya kamu mendapat giliran nomer sembilan, tapi karena si A yang mendapat giliran nomer satu tidak siap, kami tukar tadi selagi kamu menyelinap makan...

Ternganga tapi ingin tertawa, namun tidak sampai hati juga, karena dosen penguji di urutan nomer sembilan adalah yang "termampus kau" diantara yang lain... Aduh.. tanpa berkata sepatahpun seolah menyesali perbuatannya, si A hanya menatapku.. Well, Sorry, kataku.. dan pulang.

Mungkin mereka pikir, Ratih itu enak sekali, sempat makan dulu sementara yang lain stress, mendapat kasus mudah, dan mendapat dosen penguji dewa, dan sekarang sudah selesai pula, tinggal mempersiapkan diri sesuai dengan jadwal yang akan datang.

Tidak ada yang kebetulan sebetulnya, itu adalah Hak, dengan proses apapun bila memang itu adalah hak, maka akan datang sendiri kepada kita. Sempat terpikir celetukan, siapa suruh iseng.. tapi jadi berubah kasihan, karena sudah terbayang proses perjuangan dan jalan panjang yang harus ia lalui. Untung, saya sungguh beruntung, terima kasih Tuhan..

Waktu berganti, semua sudah bersiap diri untuk wisuda, teman itu masih belum selesai ujian lisan, sampai tiba angkat sumpah, teman itupun belum selesai pula. Bukan salah dia, tapi karena pengaruh teman lain yang "sirik sama ratih" yang mempunyai ide untuk menukar nomor undian, bila saja dia mempunyai "faith" dalam dirinya, hal itu tidak perlu terjadi.

Bukan pula salah dosen penguji, karena beliau mempunyai jadwal operasi yang padat, yang hanya sedikit saja waktu luangnya, karena, bila mahasiswa tersebut tergagap sewaktu ujian lisan, lebih baik dilanjutkan besok, atau minggu depan, karena pasien telah menunggu beliau di ruang operasi.

Faith, dan suara hati nurani, yang membimbing kita menemukan hak kita. Aku percaya pada hati nuraniku, karena ia selalu jujur, dan berada di pihakku. So keep the faith!

Un de nos weekends

It was raining in Hossegor, so we decided to go to Spain, to visit the museum , It takes about two hours to drive from Hossegor, and luckily the journey went fine, even a bit cloudy but we didn't meet the rain.

It takes time to find a right turn because they were building a new road to go there, but I enjoyed it since I could see the other part of the city. Before we went in, we took a quick lunch in kind of big mall across the museum... ooh it was great! It's been almost three years I didn't see a mall like that, not that I am so found about it, but it just reminded me how we were when we were still in Jakarta.

Thierry was so happy to find a Burger King! He said, it is my favourite burger! Hahaha.. it was funny because we liked to eat in the food court when we were in Jakarta, which that kind of food court we don't find it in France.

After taking some pictures, we went in, there were an exhibition about the artist Yves Klein, most of his art works are in blue, his blue!
Well, anyway, it was time to go home, and we met the rain along the high way.. it reminded me of Bogor
* visitors in the wet season should bear in mind the town's nickname: the "City of Rain". Bogor has probably the highest annual rainfall in Java and is credited with a record 322 thunderstorms a year. *

à bilbao

From My Friend Myr

She said......
Do you realize that..
We are born with two eyes in front, because we must not always look behind. But we see what lies ahead, beyond us.

We are born to have two ears one left-one right so we can hear both sides; Collect both the compliments and criticisms, to see which are right.

We are born with brain concealed in a skull. Then no matter how poor we are, we are still rich. For no one can steal what our brains contains. Packing in more jewels and rings than you can think.

We are born with two eyes, two ears, but one mouth. For the mouth is a sharp weapon, it can hurt, flirt, kill. Remember to talk less, listen and see more.

We are born with only one heart, deep in our ribs. It reminds us to appreciate and give love from deep within. Learn to love and enjoy being loved but do not expect people to love you the way or as much as you had loved them.

Give love without expecting love in return and you will find love more beautiful.

until now, I'm still trying to give the best out of me..

A joke, but it's true...

katanyaaa....

HEAVEN is having American salary, English house, Chinese cook, German car and... Indonesian wife..!
HELL is, having Indonesian salary, Chinese house, German cook, American car and.. English wife!!!

HEAVEN is where the police are British, the chefs Italian, the mechanics German, the lovers French, and it is all organized by the Swiss.
HELL is where the police are German, the chefs British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss, and it is all organized by the Italians. this one From Myr

so baby.. we are in heaven..!! even we don't have the other category....yet... hehehe.... Boy I love this joke!!!

When I loved myself enough

When I loved myself enough
I came to see I am not special
but I am unique
When I loved myself enough
I came to know my own goodness
When I loved myself enough
I began taking the gift to life serously and gratefully
When I loved myself enough
I came to love being alone
surrounded by silence,
awed by its spell,
listening to inner space
When I loved myself enough
I came to know I am worthy of knowing God directly
When I loved myself enough
I began to see I didn't have to chase after life.
If I am quiet and hold still, life comes to me
When I love myself enough
I gave up the belief that life is hard
When I loved myself enough
I learned to meet my own needs and not call it selfish
When I loved myself enough
The parts of me long-ignored,
the orphans of my soul,
quit vying for attention.
That was the beginning of inner peace
Then I began seeing clearly
When I loved myself enough
I began to see that desires of the heart to come,
and I grew more patient and calm,
except when I forgot
When I loved myself enough
I started feeling all my feelings,
not analysing them- really feeling them
When I do, something amazing happens. Try it. You will see
When I loved myself enough
My heart became so tender it could welcome joy and sorrow equally
When I loved myself enough
I learn to ask 'who in me is feeling this way?' when I feel anxious, angry, testless or sad
If I listen patiently I discover who needs my love
When I loved myself enough
I no longer needed things or people to make me feel safe.

to be continue..
from a great friend of mine who knows how to communicate with my inner me

Hari ini

Setelah dirayu rayu teman2, akhirnya bikin juga deh.. ga tau kenapa kok gampang banget sih diriku kemakan rayuan ya.. ya udah deh.. blon ada mood untuk nulis apa2, hari ini, habis mijitin mon tito, katanya masuk angin, padahal flue rupanya, seperti punya bayi yang rewel, apa apa salah, padahal sih, semua baik baik saja, cuma memang ada yang dia pikirkan which I know what...

Padahal semua sudah dicontohkan alam, sekarang ini awal musim semi, daun daun mulai tumbuh, pucuk2 nya yang hijau muda membuat semangat kembali, tapi tetap cuaca belum ramah, itu sebabnya barangkali jadi flue, seminggu panas, seminggu dingin, kenapa sih kita tidak mencontoh alam? semua itu ada waktunya, biarkan seperti air mengalir, toh dedaunan itu telah memenuhi janjinya, untuk keluar lagi di musim semi, setelah menggugurkan diri di musim gugur, sambil memamerkan warnanya yang cantik sebagai ucapan selamat tinggal.

Kitapun sama bukan? menunggu waktu dan proses kehidupan, tanpa ditunggu dia akan datang sendiri, diisi dengan bekerja tentunya, itu sebabnya waktu empat musim ada di wilayah tertentu dimana manusianya perlu dicontohkan, agar bersabar, sambil bekerja, bahwa musim itu berganti, dan roda itu berputar, memang melelahkan memanjat bukit itu, tapi, setelah tiba di atas, betapa indah pemandangan yang terlihat, dan betapa segarnya udara di pegunungan, dan tentu saja dengan riang gembira ketika menuruni bukit, bahkan sambil meluncur dan tertawa, tapi, itu di bawah sayang, kita tidak melihat pemandangan yang indah lagi, dan udara di sini sudah lebih tercemar.

Ketika terasa kehidupan ini melelahkan, tersenyumlah, karena kita sedang menaiki bukit... ketika semua terlihat aman aman saja, buat lah goal baru, karena kehidupan ini adalah perjuangan.. dan proses yang kita alami, membentuk siapa kita nantinya.....