In Laws
Having new family based on mariage is a wonderful thing. Sometimes could be complicated, sometimes could be simple. But it is a delicate matter.
Being a new member of a big family for me is amazing experience, since I don't have so many uncles or aunts, neither cousins.
I feel so lucky to be part of it, and I feel so lucky also to have a kind, familial and open minded in laws, not all of them, but most of them.. maybe because they have no other choice which is accept me anyway ;) kiding..
It was not easy for me for the first time, since I'm a new stranger in the first place, physicaly and culturally, and most of all, I didn't speak their language.
No matter how hard I tried, if there is still a language barrier, it is hard to be known who I really am. I have to get rid of that barrier first thing first.
Then, when I started to speak their language it was getting harder, the difference of the way we think, the point of view, the cultural norms, which at those time it were not easy for me to understand.
I thought for a while I was lost, or I was in the middle of the crossroad. I really didn't know where to go or which road should I take.
But again, when you seek inside yourself, you will find the answer. It is not only to speak their language but also to understand it, why and how they have their thoughts.
My dear mom and grandma always told me to treat my family in laws like my own, since they are my own family, to love and respect my parents in law like I love and respect them, and the same thing with the brother and sister in laws. No matter how they are with me, just keep loving them, they said.
I'm glad that I listened to them, two of the most important women in my life... yes.. I should listen and remember more what they've told me.
Even it was hard, but I tried, and I did it.. even it was not easy in the first place, but I finally know which road I should take.. which is, just be yourself, follow your heart, respect your own roots, and give, and give, and give, and don't ask in return. And when you do that, it should be really coming from your heart.
I couldn't say that I've succeded since I'm still learning, but so far, I feel good with myself and the result..
Being a new member of a big family for me is amazing experience, since I don't have so many uncles or aunts, neither cousins.
I feel so lucky to be part of it, and I feel so lucky also to have a kind, familial and open minded in laws, not all of them, but most of them.. maybe because they have no other choice which is accept me anyway ;) kiding..
It was not easy for me for the first time, since I'm a new stranger in the first place, physicaly and culturally, and most of all, I didn't speak their language.
No matter how hard I tried, if there is still a language barrier, it is hard to be known who I really am. I have to get rid of that barrier first thing first.
Then, when I started to speak their language it was getting harder, the difference of the way we think, the point of view, the cultural norms, which at those time it were not easy for me to understand.
I thought for a while I was lost, or I was in the middle of the crossroad. I really didn't know where to go or which road should I take.
But again, when you seek inside yourself, you will find the answer. It is not only to speak their language but also to understand it, why and how they have their thoughts.
My dear mom and grandma always told me to treat my family in laws like my own, since they are my own family, to love and respect my parents in law like I love and respect them, and the same thing with the brother and sister in laws. No matter how they are with me, just keep loving them, they said.
I'm glad that I listened to them, two of the most important women in my life... yes.. I should listen and remember more what they've told me.
Even it was hard, but I tried, and I did it.. even it was not easy in the first place, but I finally know which road I should take.. which is, just be yourself, follow your heart, respect your own roots, and give, and give, and give, and don't ask in return. And when you do that, it should be really coming from your heart.
I couldn't say that I've succeded since I'm still learning, but so far, I feel good with myself and the result..
written by : Ratih Sugiarty at 1:47:00 AM
2 Comments:
This in laws business is really tricky...no matter with or without all those barriere (language,culture, etc) . sometime i think it is like falling in love...either you love him or not. and if not, no can do about that either ;)
Good luck ya buw...soalnya kan kamu sendirian di sana...muah muah..
iya, bahasa itu membawa spirit suatu budaya. it's very subtle, but we can feel it with sensitivity. it's to bad to speak french without feeling "french". makanya kl bruno keukeuh minta kt speak french, gue bs ngerti itu. b'coz I become more french thus closer to him. dasar guenya aja yg bandel prefer speak english, spy lbh netral gitu. kl lg brantem dan gue ladenin dg french jg, gue bener2 ngerasa jd french woman! :-)) btw les français kan hobinya debat, liat aja di TV :-p
however, kadang2 gue suka iseng pk bhs indo pas ngejawab pertanyaan dia. dan si BV bengong tea. but really, it does make different. ada spirit dlm ekspresi gue yg bikin dia trcengang, and it amazed him. dia discover sisi lain gue, my root, that is the indonesian spirit.
so in my opinion, language is more than a communication tool. it's a way to understand more (the spirit of) a culture.
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